We Wish You a

Holiday Surprise

Once upon a time....

......a nice family had been home from church for about half an hour when the mom heard a nerve shattering bellow from the bowels of the house. It was her nine year old son. He didn't give up with one yell or two. Nope, he kept right on screeching her name with with hysteria. You have heard of the "boy who cried wolf"....Well, this was a similar scenario. The bellowing lad had a tendency to over react and the mom, who felt her spiritual high deflating rapidly, decided she was going to fix him....as soon as she escaped from her toe mangling boots.
The yelling continued as the slightly aggravated mother walked determinedly down the hall toward the offending noise.

The problem with nine year old males is that they don't communicate very descriptively....loudly, yes .

Upon turning the corner that led to the stairs and kitchen the mom glanced down to the floor at the same moment the boy added, "Mmmmooooommmm! DEAD SQUIRREL!!!!" Right there, almost in her kitchen, on her floor, near the paws of two very pleased snow covered dogs was a (shudder) chihuahua sized squirrel. Dead. There are some people who have spider or snake phobias. I, I mean, this poor mom suffered from an irrational repulsion to dead things.........especially in her kitchen. She instantaneously leaped backwards with a superhuman backpedaling motion and joined her son in screeching, "DEAD SQUIRREL", while dancing around with her eyes squished shut into the back of her head. The cacophony of hysterics summoned Big J who, after surveying the situation, escorted the doggies' treasure out to a dumpster. Ugh! The children who had gathered to witness the madness just stared at their mother. They had never seen her behave in such a manner. When the shock wore off they immediately requested an encore performance, but they were out of luck.

Ugh!!!!!

The Perfect Gift OR Friends Such as These

I have been blessed with many delightful,

gifted, and supportive friends. I love their crazy sides,

their wise advice, their spiritual insights, their zest for life....

If you were me-

where would you hang this momento?

Cooking with a Two Year Old

This is not a fantastic new recipe or a brilliantly creative idea...and it's entirely possible it is thoroughly unoriginal, but it was fun.

In my zealous glee to participate in anything Christmas-y I agreed to participate in a cookie exchange. What could be better than reaping the sugary rewards of someone elses hard work? I just didn't factor in time, snow, and a two hour school delay. Yep, I ended up in a bit of a crunch. Big surprise! So this is what happened:

I panicked- and then #5 came to my aid with an idea for super quick and easy snickerdoodles. We miraculously happened to have some store-bought, ready to bake, sugar cookie dough. Whoo! We cut each of the balls in half to make them bite-sized and then rerolled the little guys. This is where #5 took over.

She combined the traditional sugar and cinnamon, but the added colored sugar sprinkles- red in one bowl and green in another. Due to the squish-factor we discovered it was easier for her to bury the balls of dough in the sugar using a spoon rather than roll them with her fingers. They looked something like this when they landed on the pan:

She baked them according to the instructions on the package and voila!

We were done!

(Um, Mom can I eat them now?)

Camera Purge

In preparation for the Christmas season I made a long list of the things I need/want to get done to maximize holiday joy potential. ( I am a Christmas junky.) Big nasty items first -

I jumped into the photo swamp stored on my camera. It was a ghastly mess. Here are some highlights:

A two-year-old playing.....dress-up.

I like to call this one "Brothers; a Contrast"

Notice the bulging muscles. Well, #4 is naturally just a buff dude and the costume made him look like a mighty midget. #3, on the other hand, is one of the longest, lankiest 7 year olds on the planet. The extra padding was his dream come true. After we purchased his costume he took to getting up really early and getting COMPLETELY ready for school- coat and all. It didn't take much observation to notice he had experience a miraculous weight gain. After a bit of research it was determined that beneath his coat, shirt, and t-shirt was a certain buff red costume. It reminded me of that chapter in one of the "Beezus and Ramona" books where Ramona wears her flannel pjs under her clothes to school and ...never mind.

I made these delectable cookies.

I threatened the 12 year old in this picture that if she didn't smile I would tell the boy across the street she wanted a kiss.....apparently that idea did not agree with her.

This was when #3 was put on timeout for throwing stuff on Grandpa's roof. Not really.

I asked a couple of my nephews to show me their most handsome faces. This is what I got.

They take after their mothers.

The traditional after Thanksgiving family exorcist. Gets rid of all of the gilt related to extra helpings of mashed potatoes and banana cream pie.

I have just been informed by a nameless beloved relative that I have achieved "loser" status due to my lack of posting. Apparently, blog neglecting makes some people cranky. Whoda' thunk?

At the moment I am not feeling terribly inspired to be creative...not much excitement going on.

- I can relate that Saturday I told my kids to load in the car so we could go get ice cream. It's a good-happy-family bonding type activity....I left out the part about stopping at the doctors office for flu shots ON the way to the ice cream establishment. I felt a little guilty. Before you shake your head- consider... how would you round up six people to have needles stuck in their arms? All in all- it could have been worse. Only two (#1 & #2) bucked and snorted. I should have taken pictures.
The ice cream was lovely.

My Life Makes Me Go Hmmm........

There are times in my life when I feel like I am watching an interesting movie about someone else, because I do not feel, and therefore am not, old-ish, mom-ish, or hopefully....stale?. When I was younger I never considered my mom was a regular person who felt like anything other than- a mom. She was born a mom.... wasn't she? Maybe, that is why I have been surprised as I have "gained in experience" that I feel the same as I did when I was a kid, except for:

1-An affinity for handy cleaning supplies. I never dreamed I would own one of those super huge dust-mopping sweeper things (like they use at the church) just to sweep my kitchen AND be thankful for it.

2- Paper plates....one of the best inventions ever. I will never be a respectable earth-first green person due to the fact I am not willing to give up a mother's best friend- the paper plate. It's a compromise actually, due to limited time and sanity- something had to go- cooking or dishes. Since we all love to eat the obvious choice was dishes- no one loves those. If you do... there is something seriously wrong and you need to seek out a competent therapist!

3-Appreciation for the soul cleansing power of sweat and a loaded mp3 player. I have never liked to sweat with or without music. I think it's in my blue-blood genetics somewhere. One of the great shocks of my life occurred when I discovered the direct correlation between coping skills and physical exertion. Next to the scriptures (#1), the thing that mellows me is exercise. Oddly enough, house work doesn't seem to cut it.....hmm, go figure.

4- Nudity at church is just not ok- This is a newly acquired insight into my adult mind....which according to some might catapult me into the realm of the stale, but.....
The moment came this past Sunday during the sacrament song when #5, darling imp that she is, proclaimed, "I did it!''. (She does that when she accomplishes tasks like removing her shoes or escaping from her bed instead of going to sleep.) So, glancing down in response to her declaration I observed not only had she removed her shoes, but she was now just sporting her tights....that's it. Since I am not an uptight mother I just bent over, grabbed the clothes, and proceeded to redress her. She, however, did not think this was a good move on my part and the weeping and wailing began. Apparently I was raining on her happy moment of accomplishment. After a brief struggle #5 saw the wisdom in wearing clothing in the chapel...if not shoes. Whew!