We Interrupt This Adventure Report!

I think it was divine inspiration or intervention when one of my friends wrote a post yesterday about parents "behaving well....and not reacting"....something like that. When I read it I thought, " Oh, that's nice. What a great reminder to start my day." Well, it seems the powers that be thought it would be fun to test my reactors out.
IT all began that morning upon arriving home from running errands. I skipped merrily out of my car and moved to get my purchases from the back. At that point my eldest, and exceedingly helpful, child flung herself out of the gate and eagerly offered help hauling. She then began a discussion that went like this:
"Mom, you know how # 2 has that serious eyebrow problem? Well, he finally said I could pluck his eyebrows."
Me- "Oh, he did?"
#1- "Um, yeah...and so I started and (Noise from the back door of the house that signaled someone else was coming outside. Serious alarm spreads across #1's face.)
Me, calmly-"...and what did you do?"
At this point #2 comes through the gate with his shirt made into a turban covering his forehead.
#1- "Well, it didn't go very well. We had a problem. I used too much shaving cream."
Me- "#1 plucking doesn't involve shaving cream."
A certain degree of alarm crawled into my brain. I looked at # 2 and he glumly pulled off his head wrap. And there- it wasn't- half of his left eyebrow, which is no small thing.
Me- "Oh, my!" very calm. "#2 why don't you go wait for me in the bathroom and I will see if there is something I can do to help."
I turned my attention back to schlepping the groceries into the house. I ran some of them down to the storage room and then I remembered I need to move the laundry over. At this point there was a loud noise upstairs, like a large book being dropped on the wood floor. I went up to investigate. The kids were running around higgledy-piggledy exclaiming about sparks and lights that didn't work.
Me-" What happened"
All of the kids at once-"sparks, lights, sparks, lights..." in the middle of all the tumult #1 was reciting a litany of information as fast as she can.
Me- "STOP! What happened?- just the facts."

There is an electrical odor wafting down the hall from the bathroom.

#1- "# 2 turned off the lights in the bathroom and then there were sparks on the floor."
While she was relating these facts the other kids drifted away testing all of the lights in the house to survey the extent of the damage. Their actions caught her attention and she was gone. My brain was racing. We had just remodeled and rewired that bathroom last year. Had the electrician messed something seriously up? Was my house in eminent danger?
(Good thing am not an over-reactor.)
#2 came down the hall.
#2- "Mom, I have to tell you the truth..."
Right then- I looked down and noticed my sacred tweezers laying on the counter. One of the tips was missing and the remainder was charred black in places. It all clicked into place!
Me-"Oh, #2 you didn't stick those in the outlet?!!!!! Honey, you could have been killed" He sadly looked at me with his half an eyebrow and I about throttled him. He is the scientific one in our family and is way passed old enough to know better. If he had done that in another outlet...one that didn't have a protector, we would not have been having a discussion.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
I carefully explained we don't use the word stupid in our home ...unless someone sticks tweezers in an electrical outlet. It was a very stupid choice...especially for someone with his intelligence and his consequence required some long and serious thought. I am still pondering on that one, but I think it will involve a research paper.
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I would like to have a picture to go with this post, but one of my blessings felt the call of a creative muse and traipsed out to the back lawn with my camera...and left it in the grass. It wasn't his fault his brother decided to stage a WW III water battle in the same area.

p.s. Does anyone have any advice on where I can aquire some really good tweezers?

Summer Adventures- Part 1

Dust has taken over our home...not that we didn't have any before, but it is in places I never witnessed- the computer keyboard, bathroom mirror, remote control, the cookie jar. We have been having a tremendous summer, and I am not lamenting the house cleaning duties. I am just not that kind of girl.

-ANYWAY-

The 20 class reunion: As fun as seeing all of those people I didn't recognize- and am sure were hired as fill-ins- was, it was the people pictured below I was beyond ecstatic to see, hang out with, and drink-in. These ladies are my life long, well, at least since 7th grade, best girls. They are the friends who knew me before braces and still thought I was ok to be seen with in public.

Oh- the stories that could be told! Which is probably why I never told them about this blog...

A few days after the reunion we packed everything you can imagine into our Suburban and headed to a family reunion. This annual wingding has been going on since I can remember and usually takes place over the fourth of July. The area we headed for was absolutely gorgeous.

The kids were beside themselves. Joyfully loud in anticipation of "wilderness" adventures. You know- pirates and treasure and that sort of thing.They have rather impressive imaginations. I don't know where they get it.?

(Nephew little C, #4, and niece Muck- her mother calls her that- long story.)

Doesn't this look like the best place ever to play pirate? or ninja? whatever? These rock slides were mixed in with the rest of the alpine decor in our camp. In fact, our tent was right next to this one. I wasn't worried about it, too much...until laying in my tent in the middle of the night. I am not a deeply neurotic person. Spiders, snakes, frogs, rodents- don't really phase me, unless they jump out and land on me when I am totally not expecting it. My personal paranoia issues concern carnivores. I am not terribly fond of anything that can eat me or my children. The list would include bears, mountain lions, and sharks. Happily, sharks are only an issue in oceans...and any other deep bodies of water in nature of which I can't see the bottom. Well, at night those rocks like to tumble down the mountain at sporadic intervals. It was probably just little critters running about testing the laws of gravity, but it was easy to visualize an overly large cat slinking down the mountain to check out the morsels in our flimsy tent. I spent a few restless nights wide eyed with a nervous stomach. Needless to say, there weren't any cougars or bears to be seen ...and I believe in the power of prayer.

I am so glad I don't have the creative imagination my kids display in abundance or I think I would have had a stroke.

An Issue of Laundry

This morning I thought we had another crisis on our hands. I moved the laundry over, turned on the dryer, and something went a clunk, clunk, clunking. LOUD- like shoes in the dryer. So, I opened the dryer to see if one of the kids had added something to the laundry (i.e. shoes, cars, small expensive electronic devices) Nothing! I restarted the dryer and still the clunking persisted. I reopened and re-examined it. Nothing. I wondered if something was caught between the barrel and the outside. I wondered if my husband knew how to remove the front to look.

At this point I was trying really hard not to over react. Like the one time when I ran out and bought a new tv because our old tv wouldn't turn on.... for three days. In my defense, I would like to explain I was 7 months pregnant with #3 = a little mental, and the tv was old. The fact that J worked on it for some time before he discovered it was just unplugged- about 10 minutes after I left on my hunt for a new tv- is beside the point. If we had had a cell phone back then he could have saved us a lot of money!

Back to the dryer: The noise grew worse and worse. It occurred to me if I let the dryer run the problem might be enlarged. So, I once again opened the dryer and began removing the clothing- piece by piece so they could dry elsewhere. Low and behold....there in the middle of the mess was the culprit!

A baseball sized rock, apparently out of some darling's pocket, just the perfect color to blend in with the contents of the dryer.
I was sooo happy! I saved $55 today. ( The fee for the home warranty house call)

Maybe, I will take myself to dinner or get my hair done!

Retrospect

Have you ever moshed? Do you know a song by the Sparks called "Music that You Can Dance To"? Do you have the endurance to flail about for the entire 6+ minutes of "Rock Lobster" by the B52s?

My children can answer a resounding yep! to all of these questions. Lately, I have been indulging a bit/lot in nostalgic sounds of the 80's.... and, occasionally, have been caught dancing about in wild abandon. Not that I am obsessed with my youth.....the kids love it!...they really do- My current music fetish stems from the fact that my_?_ year class reunion is coming up this month and I am conducting a exhaustive review in preparation.

Last week I introduced #3 to the complexities and freedom of moshing. Pretty soon #5 joined us and we were having a big time...until, Big J walked in and about choked himself trying to stifle his amusement. I thought he should have given me more credit- moshing with a two year old requires some skill, if not grace.

At this point- I should have some colorful photos of us dancing about, but since I am generally the family photographer- use of your imagination might be helpful here. Besides, my dancing skills may be enhanced.

One issue has me slightly concerned about this whole reunion thing: I am positive I never went to school with half of the people listed on the reunion website! I was relatively shy in high school, but I very observant. I have never seen these people before. I realize we all change, but even their senior pictures are alien to my memory. How old do you have to be before they can test for Alzheimer's?

Happily, I remember myself...

and some really, really, really big hair.

(Don't get me started on the eyebrows!)

I don't miss the hair! I miss my thighs.

Perhaps, if I can make it all the way through a "Rock Lobster" dance off

with #3 ...????

Confession

I came to a shocking realization today and was horrified.

I am a bum-looker! I don't look at other peoples backsides, just my own- no offense. When I am around shiny reflective objects; ... mall windows, well polished cars, the toaster....I can't seem to control myself and quickly flick a glance down to my posterior. Vanity? I desperately hope not. I have a rather substantial spread back there.

I haven't always had this compulsion. It seems to have shown up about the same time my jean size went down. -I am still no dainty violet.- The last few years (10 or so) my girth steadily increased with the number of children in our home. There has to be some sort of math equation in that sentence, but I don't have that kind of brain. Anyway, the point is, due to the fact I have lost a bit of tonage it's possible I have become slightly obsessed with admiring the reduction thereof. Embarrassing. So, now I have purged my soul I will reveal the truth:

I still look like this, only a lot taller, and I haven't worn this hair style in years. Also, I am not responsible for the corner blurb.

Monkey Mania

It seems that I collect monkeys. I refer to my delightful offspring as my little monkeys...not always turkeys, on occasion. ...case and point, all around best example.

A few years ago, I began a sentimental quest for these little wooden monkeys:

Two of these little guys hung on the dining room curtain rod in my grandparents home. As a child, there was nothing I loved more than playing with those monkeys. I dangled them all over the place. When my grandpa passed away my dad brought the monkeys to live at our house. We loved those monkeys...so did my sister's dog. We came home one afternoon to discover he had been conducting a monkey autopsy. There were little gnawed animal parts all over the dining room. It was deeply disturbing. My creative and mechanically talented sister managed to recreate one of the monkeys, but I could not bring myself to look at it's newly canine texturized body. The day I found monkeys on Ebay, I about giggled myself silly with delight. I now have them dangling in my scrapbook room. I just burst with joy at the sight of them.

This whole explanation leads up to this:

My latest primate acquisition.

I have a dear aunt who spoils me. She was traveling about the country and found this sock monkey backpack in a funny little shop in Northern Idaho... and thought of me. I am not sure if it is desirable to have someone see a monkey and immediately think of me, but... as it is, I am really glad she did. Isn't it a kick? I love it.

I am considering wearing it to church with treats in it.

Adventures in....just about everything.

For weeks my dear friend/neighbor and I have been plotting an excursion to the big city. Well, this past weekend our dream came true and it was more than we imagined or bargained. Rather than have duplicate accounts- here is a link to her blog detailing the experience:http://bandofearlbrothers.blogspot.com/

....plus, it is easier to mooch her creativity than burn calories on my own.